Rocked The Scene

I rocked my scene on Monday but I was being all "heady" and not sure of myself in the critique.  I didn't want to praise what I knew was great work because I have the tendency to hear certain criticisms during the critique as an attack on my talent.  Which I KNOW is untrue, counterproductive and it does nothing for no one.  My critique ended up being about owning my work.  Knowing I am worth it and not acting like a 2nd Class Citizen!  It was a very enlightening critique.  I, first, need to know and own that I can and will have this career.  I will star on Broadway.  I will do television and movies and commercials.  I will tour the world.  I can and will have this!

DKT

La scena e domani

My Angels scene is tomorrow and I am excited.  It is nice to get excited about work in class. I had a productive phone rehearsal.  I really had to listen to what my scene partner had to say and be moment to moment with him. I also did some research on RN's in NYC. It's a tough professional to get into being black and male.  It really informs what the character can tolerate.  And what he is willing to endure to get what he wants.  I can relate with that---indeed!  I also have a Picture Exercise.  I do have to admit that I am not as prepared for that as I would like to be, but I won't flinch.  I am going to go in and give it what I got!  After this scene I need to start rehearsing a scene I have next Wednesday.  I am also working crazy hours up until New Years Eve.  Rest and Time off should definitely be earned--I am going to earn mine baby!

DKT

La prova

Rehearsal was good today. Productive. I need to trust my instincts and sure my training as a tool to assist not complicate the process. I'm looking forward to doing to scene and getting the notes. I need to go back and listen to my critique when I did the scene a year ago. I also have some work to do on RNs and see if that can give me some behavioral things to do.

DKT
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The joys of the holidays

We had a mini holiday celebration at the BHP and it was wonderful.  Afterward, I went into a short, yet productive rehearsal for my Angels scene on Monday.  It's just nice to be surrounded by like-minded people.  It is inspiring, encouraging and uplifting.

DKT

Rain Rain and more Rain

It's rained here pretty much for 7 days straight.  I mean ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT rain.  Crazy.  I think the rain allows us to excuse ourselves.  Oh I'll sleep in because it's raining.  Oh I won't go to the gym because it's raining.  I'll save those errands for another day because it's raining. Etc etc ecc.  I am only guilty of the 1st one.  I did everything else.  I even allowed the rain to let me do some work for a scene in class.  When obstacles come my way I will use them as an opportunity to grow and strength train myself.  I won't use obstacles as a way to excuse myself or put off items that should be a priority.  The rain might slow me down but it won't stop me.

DKT

Finished.

The play was excellent...again!

DKT

Finish That Play!

I need to finish Angels In America tonight.  No excuses.  Just get it done!

DKT

Rehearsal for Burn This

I had a productive 1st read of my Burn This scene.  It should be cool.  I have a talented scene partner with lots of energy and ideas so it will be a blast to work on.  I am almost finished with Angels In America.  I have to finish it before Sunday 6pm.  I have a couple more bus trips and I seem to get through a scene per trip so I'll make it.  I might get to work early tomorrow and sit and read.  The rain slows everything and everyone down so I want to counter that a bit.  Tomorrow is going to be a very long day.  I am mentally preparing myself!

DKT

Free Calendar

I spent almost 3 hours putting together a personalized calendar for 2011.  Why in the world was I not spending that time doing Administration for my career?  As I was looking for pictures and "getting into it" I found myself wondering why am I not doing Admin work.  And it is because I still think of Admin work in the laborious sense.  I don't think of it as fun.  Now, don't get me wrong some of it is fun but a lot of it just seems like work that I, at times, feel is futile.  I have to think of ALL Admin work as FUN, CREATIVE, EXCITING and a GAME.  If I can think of my Admin like creating a calendar I would get some much done and the time would just fly by.  I've got to change my mindset.  And I have to not get upset at myself.  I am recognizing that this behavior is holding me back and I chose to not give in to it anymore!

DKT

Inspiring

There was some inspiring work in class today.  I find that I'm a better Stage Manager by being a better student.  I have more of a desire to learn these days.  Currently I am working on Angels In America; the role of Belize.  I'm excited.  The material is wonderful and I never grow tired of reading it.  My scene partner and I will only do a portion of the scene so we can really get into these people and not feel like we have to "do a scene". I'm excited to work on this character at this stage in my training to really see what I can bring to it.  Watching the work in class today made me want to work hard.  Kudos to MWDAY and the BHP!  Much Love and Respect!

DKT

Class

I was in class today and it was lovely but I am so missing NYC! I was talking to my upcoming scene partners and getting excited about the future work, but I can't be in this city forever. I need my base to be The City! All roads lead to Manhattan! Operation NYC Here I come. I am giving myself a year. Let's rock this year out and make every moment count.

DKT
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Day of Rest

I wasn't thinking clearly when I said I was going to get some work done today.  And also everyone needs a day of rest so I am going to let Sunday be mine.  I do understand that days of rest much be earned so I am going to start earning them!  I need to build good habits so they carry into 2011!  Because 2011 is the year!

DKT

Nessun Ogetto

I didn't do anything specifically career related today. I almost didn't write today because I didn't have anything to say. Then I realized that that is reason enough to write. I need more days where I'm doing career activities. My lack of work needs to change. Recognition of this is definitely a step in the right direction. Tomorrow I will get back into my plan!

DKT
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It happens

I didn't do as much as I should have done today for my career.  But it does happen.  I watched a scene from a movie for a scene in class.  I am almost finished with this play, Twilight of the Golds.  It is SO provocative.  That's about it today.  I did kick some ass at the gym today.  There are these supplements, YogaBody Natural (all natural) that I want to try that helps with flexibility and all around health.  But they are pricey.  I just wanted to put it out there in the universe so that the universe knows I want them and I will get them!  Whatever I want is mine.  Claim it and receive it!

DKT

Black Swan

I won't turn this into a review of the movie, but the movie was phenomenal and artistic and dark and raw and beautiful!  I loved every moment of it.  Natalie Portman trained for10 months of ballet so she could dance her part--wow!  Now that is an Artistic Killer!  I need to get cracking.  I went to see the movie with a friend of mine who is writing and directing her own dance show.  And she said it was just time to do it!  She got focused and she is doing it!  She is definitely someone I want to keep close to me as I go deeper into this journey.  Like I said this morning.  I just want to act.  I just want to do scenes.  I just want to perform.  I want to work!  I want to escape through the stories I tell.  I want to learn more about me through the characters I create.  I want to surprise myself.  I want to teach myself. I want to grow.  I want to live!

DKT

Quick Quick

I had an awesome Admin group yesterday.  I am working on a Target List that involves CDs from the list of shows I like and shows they are doing for pilot season.  I am also working hard to stay focused.  The holidays is such a magical, fun, stressful, reflective, taxing, anxious, wonderful time for me.  Christmas is by far my favorite holiday.  It brings back SO many memories.  Ironically with the great memories come the not so stellar ones. I don't get control over which memories resurface but I do control how I handle the ones that remind me of times of struggle, crisis and being lost.  This journey is such a balancing act between personal and professional.  Last night before bed and this morning I kept thinking all I want to do is act.  That's all I want to do.  I want to express myself and explore the world through acting, singing, dancing.  If I keep my focus on that everything will work itself out.

DKT

Focus. Hard Work. Training. Focus.

I was in a great mood today.  It started with an awesome workout.  Then I made the bus that I wanted to catch.  I got to the BHP and was just happy!  I know part of it was that I'm officially only in one class.  Just knowing that I don't have certain obligations is a blessing--such a bittersweet feeling.  I feel a space has cleared in my mind.  It's like a room that needs to be cleaned, organized,  and re-decorated.  I'm also excited about the scenes I have coming up in class.  Angels In America,  The Wire,  Burn This, Six Degrees of Separation.  It's time to work!  I also went through some business emails and found one that had a link to a Will Smith video about success.  It was awesome and inspiring.  I can't wait to get to my Admin Group and focus on what's next.  I have a Target List of CDs and frankly I don't know what to do next.  As I get into my work I will make these blogs a big longer so I can really get my thoughts out and have something to share that will push me forward.  Here is the link to the Will Smith video.Will Smith's Thoughts On Success!!

Tanto Amore!
DKT

Me Time

I was going to rush and do some Admin work, but I wanted Sunday to be a catch up day.  I am realizing that I need to work my ass off, but I also need to take some Me Time.  I will say that I am anxious to hear from the casting folks from my Saturday audition.  I left feeling I would get a callback.  Let Go Let God!

DKT

Awesome Audition

I love leaving an audition feeling fulfilled. Auditions are about giving them the best of you and that's it! I gave them the best of me and I'm happy. Celebrate the wins big and small! Well that's all. I have a big smile on my face and there is un bicchiere di vino con il mio nome.

DKT
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Over and Over

I need to get this song in me for tomorrow. So I am playing it over and over. Training the ear. I'm excited and I have to remember to not make this "that big of a deal" while making it the most important. This is all I've been focusing on. Let's get through to Saturday evening.

DKT
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Throat Thursday

So my students were smoking their asses off during their scenes and now all that shit is in my voice. Oh the irony of it all. I only have to sing on Saturday for an audition. Everything happens how it supposed to happen. I can't sing now but I am listening to the lesson I had to get ready for this audition. Training the ear. Training the vocal muscle. Training. Training. Training.

DKT
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Wonderful Wednesday

I feel good about Wednesday.  I did an audition prep is class that was very helpful.  I need to listen to my critique soon so I can absorb the information.  I finally stepped down as Stage Manager in one of my classes and it was a bittersweet moment.  I received lots of love and that meant so much to me.  We as people do want to be understood, cared for, loved and appreciated.  All of that starts from within.  I also believe that when we as people realize that we are divine; then we'll be able to really receive that love when it is returned.  I'm excited about where things are headed.  Personally and professionally.  I am blessed and loved.  What a wonderful feeling.

DKT

Double Tuesday: Part 2

I almost psyched myself out of an audition! But I didn't and I have an audition on Saturday. I need to get my voice in shape for this audition. It is in me. I really want this so I need to get myself in shape--mind/body shape! Milton talks about the snake (subconscious counterproductive thoughts) that stop us for going for what we want. I'm just going to tell the snake to SHUTTHEFUCKUP I'm working here! I don't have time for you!

DKT
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Double Tuesday: Part 1

I didn't write anything yesterday.  I had great intentions but I let the day slip by me.  So today I'll write two.  Yesterday I had an awesome repeat scene in class.  The scene went well and the notes during the critique were really sinking in.  Which for me is more of a win than the actual scene.  I felt present and willing/ready to take any redirection.  I definitely have to start going back and listening to my critiques. I also completed an exercise in Dreams Into Action.  It felt good.  Being productive always feels good.  I read a scene over that I will be performing in class next month.  And I have no idea what the hell is really going on in that scene.  So I am excited to get in there and figure it out.  Burn This is a cool play but I'm finding it difficult to connect to the language while just reading it.  I also started training my successor as Stage Manager of the night class.  I am ready to make this change and see where that leads.  That's all for now.  Part 2 a little later.

DKT

Where Do I Go From Here?

So I found some casting notices on Backstage East and they got me really excited. Two movies looking for African American talent; and I believe fresh new talent. Which is me!

The notices weren't in the audition section so there weren't any character BDs or anything. So I reached out to my Admin group and they offered a little help but I'm still at a standstill.

The trouble I am having these days is what is the next step. I want to help myself be known. I am excited about being on television and that leading me to a run on Broadway! But how do I make that happen? Who do I talk to? What professional help do I need? I know I can't do it alone but time is ticking and I want to maximize my chances.

I get excited and then I get unfocused and impatient. I just need to stick to a coarse of action and only deviate when it is NOT serving me.

I can do this. I can.

DKT
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Can I Be More Accountable?!

I can text and email my postings so now I really don't have an excuse to not post daily.

DKT
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Inspired

I haven't thought about this blog in years and this morning I said, "why don't you write?" And I couldn't think of any reason....well excuse...to not. So here I am. I've decided to not change my Blog headline because this is still about "Firsts". I am not in MN anymore but in LA. West Hollywood to be exact. I won't get into my journey over the past couple of years, but I am sure those experiences will be constructively re-lived as I begin this journey again.

So why am I writing again? I feel inspired. So many thoughts, inspirational citations and nuggets of information are swirling through my mind but there are two that stick out. First is something my new/old/re-newed hip-hop teacher said to me a few weeks ago. She said that dance and fitness is a mind-body effort. And the mind is the key ingredient. You have to get it in your head that this (whatever this is for you) is what you want to do. I interrupted that as getting over your personal bullshit. Getting through past trials. And just getting it into your head that you CAN and WILL do this. Instead of psyching yourself out; build yourself up and just do it!

My 2nd bit of inspiration came from reading my daily devotions this morning. Iylana Vanzant's Until Today! is fantastic and highly recommended. Today's was about freeing myself to live freely. Allowing myself to go back to my youth when I had no inhibitions and was comfortable in my thoughts and dreams. I began to wonder where my imagination had gone? I have been living so long in this adult driven world where I am the sole decision maker, bills pile up, a crisis is just a phone call away and all that I am living for has taken the backseat. Somewhere in my mind I've convinced myself that many of my dreams are out of my reach. I feel the clock ticking and I feel that I'm running out of time. So instead of hitting the grindstone and getting my ass in gear; I do the bare minimum. Wow....I've never really come to terms with that until now. The responsibility falls on me and I choose to NOT be that guy anymore. I don't know who that guy is. I won't allow myself to get in my way anymore. So this blog will hold me accountable. I am committing myself to post daily until the end of the year. The focus will be on my career. I'm excited.

listening to: Come Too Far - Victory Cathedral Choir

Much Love,

DKT